Don't you just hate it, when it's your day off and you try and try to sleep in but end up waking up really early. Well that happend to me today. The one day i try and sleep in i just can't.

My parent's are on spring break this week, and my mom has been completly bored, as she had told me. She says what am i going to do when both of your kids are gone. She kept telling me lets do something, what do you want to do? she says lets play a game. So i bring up some fun games, then she says no i don't feel like it. Ok, don't tease me like that i say.


Anyway... I haven't seen Josh in three days, he's been working and i have been working our hours haven't matched. I will get to see him either this sunday or next week. I finilly got my tax returns back, $360. Wooh HOoh! Finilly can use that money for the trip. I still have to pay off my credit card after that i should be good.


I'm so excited and cannot wait, yet i have so much to do before then.

So, these past few weeks i've been working out a couple of nights a week. Last night Josh and i went to work out then at like 11pm, we parked our car at hyvee walked all the way to Dahls, then past the library and northview then back to Hyvee, we ended up walking like 2 miles. then went to wendys and had ourselves a salad lol. but it was really fun.

Tonight we are going to go tan then go out to eat and shop around then go back at nine and workout till prolly 11ish.

My goal is to get a nice body for the trip, get my stomach back into shape and gain mucsle in my arms, and it's starting to show.


Ok, well i need to go, josh will be here any minute.

Well, i ended up getting a ton of hours this week, glad for the hours. but i'm just really tired, that and the time change totally screwed me up. Sunday was extremly busy i ended up working ten hours, then 9 hours on Monday. Thank god only five hours today. I come home at 2pm. so i can sleep for a little bit maybe, unless for some reason i'm wired.

Josh got his wisdom teeth pulled out yesterday. i tried calling him then figured he prolly coudln't talk so i left a message. Bought him a little gift and a card, i don't know if he's up to doing anything tonight or not.

Our whole house smells like gasoline, we somehow had our snow blower got bumped and the gas leaked out of it, it's in our garage but way back in the corner. well it must have gone through our vents. It's really bad downstaires. I had to sleep with my window open last night to air out the room.

Ok, well i guess i should leave for work, hudson is working and i don't want to be late on his shift, hope he's in a good mood.

So i worked until 8 today.. weird shift 3:30-8. Went by really fast, Deb was closing chatted awhile. Had a good night of work. Well anyway. I wanted to do something with Josh tonight, but he said he was doing something else. I asked what and he said he was hanging with bubon and jessica, cuz i had to work. I was mad i didn't like that idea. I knew that jessica had planned it that way and i knew that they were up to something no good.

Well josh knew i was mad so he came to dahls while i was working and told me i was going to the movie and that i should come along, i also didn't get to spend that much time with him talking because i had customers, but did want to come and be with him. But it was weird with them tonight. I didn't know what quite to expect. It was dead silence all the way to the movie theater. I guess Josh said that he had felt uncomfortable with them tonight and really could have passed up an evening with them. Really, I am not friends with Jessica. And it just made me mad when josh was going out with them, so i knew i also had to go. But after the movie was over and he drove them home, i had good conversation with josh and a nice time. Josh and I are doing something friday and sat. I'm excited!



I'm starting to have more feelings for josh. I can't explain it.

So, it seems like i haven't wrote in here forever.. well for two months i have thought about it alot, but you can think about things that will never happend.

Really, not alot has changed since christmas just a few things, i finially got my braces off which is really nice and can't stop running my tougue against my teeth.

Josh and i are still going out, and i love being with him. We finially booked our vacation we will be taking in May, we are going to Orlando, FL and staying for five days we are planning on going to Seaworld, Unverisal, and Disney Land and are so excited we can't wait.


I've been working long days, and still in need of money and bills i have to pay off. Still paying off one of my credit cards from christmas. After i get that paid off i won't be using it till may for the trip.

My family is still in finical trouble.. and i really just don't even want to talk about it right now, because it's stressful and messy.

I have a new friend i met at work and really like her, she is one year older than me. We've hung out a couple of times, lol. we are going to double date one night this week that should be fun, we may go to the new resturant "Crave" it's a foudue place.


I have this sore throat that is just killing me all i want to do is eat something cold or drink something. I think i got it from another person at work.. i'm going to go rest. But promise to update more.

Well, tonight we made our famous apertizers and then opened the presents, alot of the stuff i got i was there to pick it out so really no surprise there but it was still fun. I'm getting my Canon SD600 Tuesday so I'm excited about that. Jill got a Canon A540.

Tonight were going to mass at 11pm, I'm actaully not so tired anymore but thirsty as hell. I'm so glad to have a little vacation time, i won't go back to work till Friday and i love it. Plus there is going to be about 20 people at our house this weekend but it will be lots of fun.

Right now I'm so broke.. Once i get my pay check it will go striaght towards my credit card bill. So that sucks. I am taking off next semester not going to school, will be working full time, can't afford a semester right now don't have the money.. oh well. that's fine with me.

I need to get a hold of nissa, lol. we keep missing each other hopefully we can get together and exchange gifts, she is really going to like what i got her this year. i totally tuned into her.


Well, I'm gonna go hang out with the family until we get ready for church.. still doesn't really feel like christmas just because it's so nice outside, the holidays are sure coming fast this year.

I've gotten alot accomplished today than i thought i would have. I went to target and bought gift wrap and boxes. But now it just sucks i work in less than an hour i have a shitty shift, 3:30 to 8pm. really i'm only working that shift because there is a cashier's meeting and i will fill in and be a cashier.

Josh and I have been doing lots of fun things together latley.. i'm starting to get the glowing feeling inside which i really like. This saturday were going to church together. Next time hopefully we can go to one of the really nice ones down in des moines.

Well, i have almost all my christmas shopping done, i still need to get one more for my mom and half of josh's gift and half of nissa's gift, but besides that they are all wrapped now.

Christmas is coming way too fast, i have yet still so much to do. And it's really nice outside which i can't believe for december weather.

well. i guess i should get going now..

Last night we arrived home about midnight from our trip to green bay. We spent the weekend with my realtives that live in wisconsin, it was fun. my cousin from my mom's side scott came along. WE all broke the ice when we played the game Taboo, you know that is a great game to play with the family one of my favorites. We went to the packers game sunday. It was freezing cold however only my feet were numb at the end i was wearing.. 2 pairs of pants, then snow pants, 2 pairs of shirts, then a sweatshirt and coat, 3 pairs of socks, then heat warmers and hand warmers. i looked extremly fat but yet so bundled up i could barley move. We sat so close to the field, fifth row from the sidelines.

ALthough, i have no voice now, not from shouting at the game, i had a sore throat last week and now i had been coughing so now i conclude with no voice.

I'm still thinking of presents to get people, i found out my little cousin didn't know what jersey sheets were, i was sleeping with her in her room, when i told her how they were the greatest invention for sleeping, i told her i was going to get her a set for christmas even though i didn't have her name. should be fairly cheep , she has a twin bed.

I have today off, so it was nice to sleep in and just be lazy and catch up from being sick. i work tomorrow then have wed off again, glad it worked out that way i have a hair appointment.

i haven't talked to josh latley since last thursday. hope he's doing good. i also hope we can move up the realtionship ladder from buddy to closer.

Last night i helped decorate my room for christmas and i helped my mom put up the christmas ornaments, unfountly we are only putting up one tree this year and with that tree we can only really put on glass ornaments as they are light. Well last night i hurt myself putting one up. i was talking to my mom and was heading to put on this glass ornament wasen't wasent' watching where i was walking and triped over a chair and i was trying to catch the ornamnet from braking, but was not succesful as i had crushed it in my hand. And oh my god, there was blood dripping all down my arm. I didn't even realize it at first i was just like i broke it. So my mom was trying to get the glass off of my hand, i'm trying to see if any glass is stuck on my hand finially i went to run it under cold water just kept bleeding and bleeding, finially it stoped, thank god it wasn't as deep as i thought it was. so right now i have five band aids on each finger. so four of my fingers hurt even to type this.. now it's kind of funny looking back on it yesterday.

So i'm going to try and stay away from glass bulbs. really would rather have other oranments.

Well my grandparent's are coming down tonight I think they will only be here a night or so. I had the day off so i was just cleaning up and making preparing dinner.

I have my wine tasting class tomorrow, i'm dissappointed that josh can't come with me.

Wow, Thanksgiving is coming along very quickly.. Dahls' is closed for thanksgiving so that's nice. So really I just work two days this week which is awesome! more time for fun and sleeping.

My mom talked with me yesterday she told me that there was no reason for buying presents for her or my dad this christmas nor will i be getting any presents, were celebrating the real reason for christmas. Just kind of sucks. I will however buy some presents for jill and maybe one gift or two for my mom and dad.. IT's kinda sad though, i hope i will be happy for christmas it's one of my favorite holidays although i'm afraid it will be kind of depressing.

Nissa is home for Thanksgiving break, i think she got home yesterday. i left a message on her phone but i hope we can get together soon.

I had the day off, so i finially go to sleep in and just be lazy tis great.

Yeah It snowed today, i got so excited when i saw it falling from the sky, i love snow! i was waiting for it to come too. Not that I don't like that nice weather we had but it is Novemeber and next month is christmas. Christmas is prolly my most favorite holiday just because it's a day where you spend the time with family and friends. I like it when the whole family gets together. But this christmas won't be like any other christmas's because of the things that are going around right now.

But I am going to make it a good christmas for them, if not myself.

So, I have been fighting off mouth soars and a sore throat, So I have this spray thing that is suppose to help with soar throats and it is AMAZING. It seriously numbs the pain away immediately.

I got $20 worth of anti-cold stuff. That includes a bunch of chicken noodle soup. Dear god, I hope this works. Just incase i might need it later on.

LOL> i bought the dvd box sets for season 1 and 2 of the Jamie Kennedy Experiment Show. Bought them really really cheap at Amazon, in the used section. They are hiliarus, sometimes i need a good laugh and i love watching people do pranks on other people.

Ok, I really need to stop playing the sims 2 very addictive game.

My night was totally wasted, not that i was going to do anything very productive but still.

I work at 8:30 tomorrow, in the photolab i seriouly hope it's busy if not in there then out where the cashiers are so i can at least sack.

I have the weekend off, but we are going down to Schaller, IA to see my grandparen'ts it's their 60th wedding annversiry and we are going to help celebrate it, even though my grandparents are always arguing and not ever getting along with each other.

I think i might do something with josh tomorrow night, i haven't seen him in a week so maybe we can actually go out for a night.

well i'm going to finish watching the movie closer, it's real boring so far but maybe it'll help me fall asleep..lets hope i need more than five hours of sleep tonight.

I am so very tired everyday when i wake up, all i want to do is sleep. I think it's because of working and the rstress of everything else.

So a couple of days ago, i treated myself to a toy, I bought the Sims 2. And I'm very addicted to it. I was playing with this past weekend i was playing it for four hours one night, totally wasted the night but it was fun. I think i may need to get a new graphic card/video card because i would frequently have to save the game but then of like 2 hours of playing it it shut off and went to the desktop then the color was all fuzzy.. i'm puzzled by this..?

I went to the mall with my sister last Friday it was fun except she gets in the mall mood, she walks fast likes to go to her stores and then she's done, when i go i like to go in each store look over things then maybe go back. Plus it was Jordan Creek Mall, we don't get a chance to get there alot.

I feel like i haven't seen my family in awhile, I work and have school so usually i don't get home till late then when i do i just go downstaires and do stuff, i pretty much either go out or go to sleep, it's funny i keep thinking in the back of my head i have to move out soon, but really all i do is sleep and shower there. plus the downstaires is pretty much mine no one ever comes down there.

Well my mom has confrences tonight, she asked me to do the grocery shopping, that's great but i have no list ,so am i just supposed to wing it. If it was me shopping for just myself, i would end up buying a whole bunch of crap to eat lol. but now i have to think for the family's needs, maybe i'll look at some recipes and then create a meal plan.

Last Weekend, it was just my mom and me. My dad and sister went to Wisconsin to see the Green Bay Packers play. I mostly had to work, but i had saturday off, my mom and i practically drank a bottle of wine and talked and played cards.

I also went to a wine class at dahls.. It was lots of fun, we had appetizers and got to try eight glasses of wine, you can difently get buzzed off drinking wine, i'm definetly going next time.. I feel as if i had already said something about the class on here..

It's so nice i have tomorrow off.. which i'll be sleeping in and being lazy then going out with josh later in the evening..think we are going to go to the mall, haven't really decided we'll see what he wants to do..

Ihop stuffed french toast sounds so good right now..

i'm so random..

LOl. well going to look back on amazon.. i'm finding specail gifts this christmas ..anyway.. that's all for now.

Bad stuff is happening to our family, horrible stuff will be very soon. My parent's were in their room tonight talking over everything. My mom finially told me bits and pieces of it tonight a little while ago. She looked as if she was going to cry and there was nothing i could even do. I can't help what is about to happend nor do i know what to do to make it go away. My parents are becoming very depressed, expically my mom, my mom says my dad is the same way, but he hasen't cracked yet, and if he does something horrible will happend. My mom says she needs someone to talk to about this stuff, stuff thats too bad she can't even tell me. I told her she should talk to our priest. There's someone who is close to god and maybe can at least listen to her and give her some faith.

Soon, something horrible will happend, i just hope it doesn't reck our family and our faith can keep us all together.

Why can't god help us right now, all we need is some sort of miracle.

I won't be able to finish up college right now, we can't afford for me to go back next semester, i really don't mind, i'm sick of school anyhow, and at least i can make more money next semester.

I don't know what to do to help.. i just hope we all can have faith in ourselves.

So Pretty much this weekend sucked, still have one more day left sunday, but will be doing the homework since i have no work. Nissa came home from IC this weekend, I actually changed my hours around for saturday night i was supposed to work from 11-9ish, well i changed it so i could work 8-5pm so i could hang with nissa that night. Well turns out i got blown off, she called and left a message on my phone at like 9ish and said she was going out with her brother and maybe she could do something at like 10:30-11ish, but i was just too tired to do something that late, kinda makes me mad i try and get off of work early to hang out with her while she's in town and hardly see her at all. I barely got to see her friday night, we ended up not going out till 10pm and really only spent two hours with her. oh well, what can you do..

I'm trying to decide what classes to take for next semester, i need to go in and talk to my advisor.

I still have a powerpoint presentation due monday morning that i have not started yet, but will do tomorrow and finish it off, at least now i have a topic to start with. I seriouly wish this semester was over, I'm sick of school.


Jill gave us a panic attack tonight, with her asthma. She was bright red, and could hardly breath, my mom almost thought about taking her to the ER but then we didn't. She soon got better just took awhile we did some breathing exercises and she took some more medication.

Ok, I'm just dead tired.. i need to get some sleep.

So seriouly i really need to go to class next week lol. I skipped today, it was a lab day so it really didn't matter, There is a powerepoint project due for Monday and i havent started it as usual it can be on anything, and all i need is 8 slides, so i guess i'll work on it tomorrow after work or on sunday lol.

Went out with Josh last night we went to see The guardian it was a really good movie, better than i had expected, although Josh was feeling really sick, so sick he didn't even get his popcorn. I hope he feels better today.

Nissa comes home from IC today. We are going to do somethin tonight and tomorrow night. She has informed me that this coming summer she is leaving me again to go to another country. LOL. but i hope she has fun.

I went running this afternoon, 2 miles in 30 minutes. And my god , i feel out of shape. I really would run outside, but it would be nice to run with someone other than just myself. My goal is to be ready for November 18th that is when The Living History Farms Race is, possibly the best fun run in iowa, I'm excited, it's 7 miles, that's why i need to start running 2 miles every week or possibly three by the end of the week.

Ok, going to go do my hair for tonight.

LOL> i love it, my mom is obsessed with cleaning the house on the weekend, as if it was really that dirty in the first place, she keeps getting on me about my room and bathroom, i keep saying i'll do it, just later, well i guess she's had enough, right now she is cleaning my bathroom.

LOL. is it time to move out when your mom starts doing that? lol.

I have today and tomorrow off from work, so it's nice, soon when i stop procranating i will restart doing my homework for Excel, i have to make up my test this week which i missed last week, not in the mood for that either.

Ah, I have to go to church tonight.. don't wanna go.. but oh well, at least on saturdays it's only an hour long instead of 2.

So it's like almost 11pm and here i am stuck finishing up studying for my computer exam tomorrow also finishing up homework, actually i'm not sure if i have a exam tomorrow or not i haven't been to that class in while, so i'll just assume i have it. God, i hate excel, seriouly it's so boring really i'm not going to use it maybe like once.

I have a huge problem focussing on stuff, like school work i just can't focuss on stuff more than 30 minutes. I'm rethinking of getting back onto the medication, but if i do that then i will have to go in for another process and review, and i'm not sure i want to do that either.

Will somone please do my homework for me..lol.

Well I was supposed to work today, but i called in sick, I was sorta sick, I had an upset stomach I mostly think it was because I was stressed and very tired. Last night was Jessica's Birthday, I think it will be a birthday I prolly won't forget just because it was a new experience for me.

Her plan was to get totally plastered, and she did succeed in that, I just wish I wouldn't have been around her when she was like that, embarrsing and depressing at the same time. We went to Stix's Pool Hall, Never been there before and prolly won't end up going back out there. It was very smokey and we witnessed alot of drunk people, Josh and I didn't feel very comfortable there and wanted to leave as soon as possible, we ended up staying 2 hours. The highlight there was they did have a fooseball table. Evelen and Frank came with us, I finiallly got to meet Frank, and quite frankly he scares me and the stuff he was telling me I literally thought he was preverted and crazy. That and when we were leaving he was offering me to buy pills from him, I also witnessed some smoking weed and do not even want to be exposed to that, I thought they were very very low and I don't want to be associated with that kind.

We are supposed to have another party Saturday Night, Hotel Party up in Des Moines, or drinking you could call it, I'm rethinking the idea of going, I didn't even drink last night because the thought of it still sickens me.

So tonight I have my Business English Class, And I should be studying for our exam and finishing up homework. I really hate the teacher, she's a bitch..

OK, done complaining i'm off to study.